Freedom

Dating can be hard, and break-ups can be even harder.  When we find ourselves caught in the middle of the wilderness after a big break-up, where do we turn?  Often, there are ten thousand thoughts running through our minds. 

Should I call her?

Should I not call her?

Who is she with?

What is she doing?

What if I run into her?

We consult our friends and other secular authorities to find answers to these crucial questions.  We want answers, yet what we should be seeking is the truth.  It sort of reminds me of the exchange between Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men.  Nicholson is on the witness stand and Cruise is baiting him incessantly.  Cruise emphatically says, "I want the truth!"  Nicholson replies, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" 

The question is, "Are we ready to handle the truth or are we so caught up in finding answers that we become blind to it?" I realized that much of the time (although at times he can and he does), Jesus doesn’t give us direct answers like “You should call her.”  Instead, he tells us, “I’m everything you need.”  He loves us so much that he often doesn’t tell us what to do.  He gives us his word and allows us to make decisions on our own.  That is why reading the Bible is so utterly important to our lives.  It is so crucial when we begin to ask why.  The first thing we should do is turn to God’s word, not to get answers to our problems, but to get the truth. 

Unfortunately, God doesn’t speak specifically about dating, but he talks about how we should handle our interactions with other people and life situations that come at us like bugs hitting the windshield.  God calls us to “love one another” (John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:7, John 15:17).  God calls for us to “live at peace” with one another (Romans 12:16-18).  God says that we should be patient in our decision-making (Psalm 40:1).  God says that he will meet all of our needs (Philippians 4:19).  God says that we should carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).  God says that we should pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17), forgive one another (Luke 6:37), and be merciful to one another (Luke 6:36).

Are we ready to let the truth set us free?

What Men Want (Pt.2)

When I was a eight years old, all I wanted for Christmas was  a bunch of G.I. Joe stuff.  When I was ten, it was a box of Topps baseball cards.  When I was eighteen, Tommy Hilfiger shirts.  I look back at all of the things I have wanted in my life and I realize that the only things that really last are things that are intangible and cannot be seen.  Material things are always subject to rot and decay.  Usually, the things we own become obsolete or victims of time or the latest societal trends.  I don’t have any more G.I. Joe figurines.  I gave all of my Tommy Hilfiger shirts away to the thrift store.  I still have my baseball cards, but they’re not worth much anymore. 

It’s amazing what grown men desire and what we spend our money on.  We spend thousands of dollars on the newest Mercedes, the hottest gadget, or the most luxurious trip that money can buy.  We pump our money into the craps table, spend it on prostitutes, beer, tobacco, fishing rods, video games, yachts, summer homes, flat-screen TVs, paintings, clothes, and many other tangible items.  We spend it on memberships in certain social clubs and organizations: the country club, the tennis club, the gym.  As Americans, much of our money is spent trying to project a certain image or to pursue a certain pleasure.  Which takes us back to the first line of Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”

What this verse means to me is that, since God is our leader and protector, we have everything we need.  Yet somehow this doesn’t seem like it’s enough for us.  Confusingly, Psalm 37:4 offers, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Does the Bible contradict itself here?  Should a distinction be made between desire and want?  The American Heritage Dictionary defines desire as “to wish or long for; want; crave.”  No help here. 

The distinction that can be made between these two verses is this:  Psalm 23 is addressing the desire for material things—a new car, a boat, a new house, a country club membership—which are the desires of our mind, while Psalm 37 speaks on the desires that are in our heart.  Have you ever asked yourself, “What are the desires of my heart?”  Can we safely say that a bigger house is one of the desires of our heart? 

If we delight ourselves in the Lord, are we assured that God will allow us to score a touchdown, be able to date the cheerleader, or win an election?  Unfortunately, the answer is no if the root of our desire is to glorify self.  Ask yourself, “Why do I want these things?”  Is it because I’m trying to pleasure myself, project a certain image, or seem important?  Or do I desire these things because I want to give God the glory? 

Why Jesus Matters

I grew up in a middle-to-upper-class suburban home in Bible Belt America.  My father was a business owner and my mother a schoolteacher.   I cannot say that I ever missed a meal or knew what it was like to be poor, but nevertheless I grew up white in a somewhat affluent environment. I was an athlete and a straight-A student; I attended church regularly and even went through confirmation class at the Methodist church in my hometown.  I met Jesus for the first real time in April 1994 at a Christian conference, but I didn’t realize the extent of his teachings until I became a man. 

Growing up in this type of environment was not uncommon.  In fact, many of my friends were WASPs and had similar ideas on what the American dream was all about.  My core beliefs were essentially this:  1) work hard at what you do, 2) follow your dreams, 3) want the very best for yourself, 4) become a success 5) liberals are wrong, 6) America is the best country in the world, 7) God has his hand on America, and 8) Jesus loves me.  Little did I know, but I was being indoctrinated into the line of thinking that would dominate my life for a number of years, until just recently. 

I spent several years chasing success.  I graduated from college with a history degree and then went to law school to better myself.  I tried to make as much money as I could, accumulate lots of stuff, and project a certain image to the world.  In short, I was chasing the American dream.  I cannot say definitively if I was a materialist, but I do know now that my focus was in the wrong place for a long, long time. 

Life, for me, was about being successful—making a lot of money, buying a house, having a nice car, having a good job, exerting a certain degree of influence on those around me.  I wasn’t any more obsessed with material things as the next guy, but I can definitely say that success was on my mind.  My world was essentially centered on three things: Finding a Career, Finding Companionship, and Finding Pleasure.    Would you say that this was very far off from most people in America?  Probably not.

Americans want to find a career that is suitable and rewarding to them, both financially and otherwise.  We want to find companionship in our friends, lovers, and acquaintances.  And we want to find pleasure by doing things that are fun, exciting and enjoyable.  This is just part of being an American.  America is all about making something out of your life, finding people to share it with, and having fun.  But these simple concentrations can lead to destructive behaviors in many instances.  My life was no different.  I became obsessed with jobs I had, and paranoid when I wasn’t satisfied with them.    I searched for companionship in perverted ways.  And my search for pleasure led me to dark and hollow places.

But in the midst of all of this, I found the cross.  Somewhere down that twisted, lonely highway of my life, at the crossroads of Confusion Street and Despair Avenue, I found Jesus.  He had been waiting there all along to show me to the right road—to show me a better life. 

It all began with my thinking.  Suddenly I realized, by getting to know Jesus, that my mindset was all wrong.   What I had perceived to be the truth was merely the soft yet distorted extensions of the environment in which I was raised and had come to know and understand.   I had been living in darkness.  The American dream had been my Gospel, and I was trying to fit Jesus into my WASP Republican world.  Thus began a revolution in my mind that was completely counter to everything I had been indoctrinated into since my childhood.  It was not my parent’s fault, nor was it anyone else’s fault.  I was simply a product of a systematic brainwashing by American society that changes the Gospel to fit our suburban worlds. 

Most people settle for a casual relationship with Jesus, if one at all.  Jesus is too dangerous, too risky, too challenging.  For some, to fall in love with Jesus is to be a “freak,” to serve him fully is strange or odd.  We love normalcy and comfort, and we dare not buy into something that will take us out of our biosphere of ease or our calm little worlds.  

Most people don’t want Jesus to be a part of our everyday lives.  We only make ourselves available to him on Sunday morning, and the rest of the week we go on living our lives like he didn’t matter.  But Jesus is not an itinerant God that is gone during the week and suddenly arrives back on Sunday morning.  He is a God that has made himself available to us at any moment—in any circumstance.  We don’t have to worry about whether or not Jesus is listening (because he undoubtedly is) nor whether he is speaking, because he is consistently transmitting messages to us in the form of subtleties that eventually play out into the masterpieces that he intends for our lives.  By not making Jesus a part of our everyday living, we are selling ourselves—our lives—tremendously short.  We are missing out on the fulfillment and abundance of the blessings of Christ, the peace and happiness of our Redeemer. 

Leadership

Often, leadership is thought of in terms of directing a group  of people who share common interests or goals.  A military general or a coach are perfect examples.   Leaders such as these have a matchless capacity to challenge, encourage, and instill, while excellent leaders have the ability to inspire greatness in others.  

But leadership is often about standing alone.   Leadership is saying “I will” when everybody else won’t; it’s about saying “I won’t” when everyone else wants to.  The great leaders have often picked up the torch when everyone else had set it down because the burden was too much to bear.  Leadership is about pressing through our current circumstances, no matter how discouraging or inconvenient they may be, and staying the course that God has mapped out for us.  Leadership is the resolve to do what we should do, and the courage to refrain from what we ought not to do. 

Leadership is also highly connected to faith.  A leader does not lose sight of the overall mission or waiver in the things he believes in, even if there is very little evidence to support it.  Abraham was one of those leaders.  He believed that he was to be the father of many nations even though he did not have a child of his own.  Why did he believe this?  Because he had faith in what God had promised him. 

There are situations in our lives where faith and leadership converge.  We may not readily see the value in doing what is just and right, but if we stand true to our convictions,-even if there is no foreseen benefit- we will reap a tremendous reward in the days to come. 

Something to Cheer About

It was 5:30, and the orange hues of the sky above Bryant-Denny painted the prettiest picture I had ever seen.  I was praying as Wes Byrum aligned his kicking foot with the South endzone, and I knew in my heart that it was over.  As the ball lofted toward the goalpost—up,up, up then down and true—my head lowered and my heart sunk when fear became reality.  Auburn 28, Alabama 27.  
There was a stillness in the place, like the mist of the dawn that hovers over a tranquil lake.  Almost one-hundred thousand people stood stunned, restless in the raging assurance that victory would not be found today.  There was no noise, other than the roar of the enemy waving their orange and blue shakers and screaming their battle cry. 
Disbelief?  Yes.  Gut-wrenching?  Yes.  Hurt?  Most certainly.  The one thing that I feared most was about to happen: Alabama was going to lose to Auburn. 
As I marched back to my car like a defeated soldier, I whispered to myself, “I’ll never get over this.”  The pain that I felt was almost too great of a burden to bear.  In so many ways, I felt as though I had somehow lost.  I was part of the team, part of the mania and obsession we call Alabama football. 
For the next two weeks, I didn’t want to turn on the television.  I didn’t want to hear about the big loss, of how we squandered a 24-point lead to throw it all away at the end.  I thought that if I simply ignored it that all the hurt might go away.  Weeks later, I still found myself replaying the game—the parts of it that really mattered anyway.  A dropped pass here, a fumble there, a bounce of the football, an errant play by one of our defenders that could have been different.  I even considered the fact that it might have simply been a dream and that one day I was going to wake up. 
People who don’t follow football or at least those who don’t follow it the way we do in the South don’t understand.  It’s just a silly game to them.  The Iron Bowl doesn’t really matter that much.  They might consider us lunatics for becoming so obsessed with Alabama and Auburn.  And in many ways, they’re right. 
After the crushing loss, I began to consider the importance of football in my life.  I had grown up an Alabama fan, attending games, spending my time watching it on TV, worrying, shouting, screaming, cursing, hurting, and celebrating.  I will estimate that at least five years of my life have been taken away from the anxiety it has caused me.  And if the trend keeps up, I’ll be lucky to make it to fifty. 
As an Alabama fan, there is but one name that towers above all others.  Bear Bryant.  He is the quintessential coach—rugged, hard-nosed, tactical, witty, strong, and reverent.  He’s like your grandfather, only cooler.    His face has been tattooed on bodies, his picture hung on ten thousand walls.  If Bryant was a mythological god, his name would be Zeus.  I will have to boldly admit, there are times when I have been brought to tears by the mere sound of his voice, as if he had some greater insight into the human condition than most of us mortals. 
But after the Auburn loss, things slowly began to change in me.  As I began to unravel my desperate love for Alabama football—asking myself why and if it’s all worth it—I began to realize that my passion simply was in the wrong place.  It mattered to me too much.  Amid all of the screaming and groaning, I had lost sight of something that is very important—that God is much greater than football.  God alone is worthy to be praised, even more so than Bear Bryant. 
I pondered greatly the extent of my screaming and cheering.  I wondered when the last time it was that I cried when God spoke to me.  I asked myself, “Why do I get so angry when we lose and cheer so mightily when we win?”  This begged the question, “Why do I not celebrate like this in church?”  Why do we not scream and pray and long for victory in Christ like we do on the football fields of our lives?  At last, I came to a wonderful conclusion:  that the fear of losing is so great that these emotions are brought out in all of us.  A cheer of victory is simply a recognition that the fear of losing is over. 
Life presents a much more difficult game.  The stakes are higher, and the battleground is the mind.  There is no time for time-outs, no place for referees, and the battle is perpetual.  It is Satan versus God, and whether we like it or not, we are all part of the struggle, we are all players in the game.  The most reassuring thing that God has revealed to us is that the victory has already been won before the battle was ever fought.  Losing the overall battle is not a consideration. 
Therefore, our resounding battle cry should be “Victory in Jesus” instead of our own collegiate anthems.  Instead of being fixated on football, we should fix our eyes upon Jesus.  We should put on the armor of God more than we do our favorite team’s jerseys.  We should have the Ten Commandments hung in our homes with more pride than the precious moments of our greatest games. 
Forasmuch as I love Alabama football, I have to catch myself before it becomes an idol.  At the end of the day, it’s just a game.  We have to continue to remind ourselves of this fact, although there still remains great value in athletics.  The greatest part of our games is not winning or even championships, but the greater learning we can receive as part and parcel to being participants, fans, and coaches.  God uses even our athletic pursuits to bring us closer to him, to teach us lessons about how to live life in this important training ground for the real battles we will eventually face. 
What, then, should we celebrate?  The real celebration occurs in life when a new believer accepts Christ as his personal savior.  This should give us something to cheer about, something to raise our hands heavenward in utter joy—as if we have scored the winning touchdown.  The real loss is when we lose a brother and sister to Satan for eternity.  This gives us reason to hang our heads in defeat as we are walking back to the car from the funeral ceremony of someone who never knew what it was like to taste Christ just once. 
Though we may cry, we simply cannot dwell on our losses.   We have to hit the recruiting trail as hard as we can, searching for lost sheep to bring them back to the fray.  And so we ask ourselves the all-important questions, “Are we following Christ the way we are following football?  Do we tune into the Good News of the Gospel as much as we are turning in to Sportscenter?  Is God on our Fantasy team?  Have we applied Matthew 6:25, urging us “do not worry,” to our football obsessions?  Are we considering the green pastures of Christ instead of the green grass of the ballfield?  Are we boasting about the Lord instead of our ball team?  Most of us agree that God is greater than football.  Maybe we should start acting like it. 

Who are you?

The world says you're a loser.  You tell yourself all the time that you're a failure.  Your girlfriend tells you you're selfish.  Your dad tells you you'll never make anything in life.  Your boss tells you you're not doing a good enough job.  The world says that there is no hope for you.  Satan tells you that you will never get over your past.  But God has a much different view of you. 

As believers and followers of Christ, one of the first things we should realize is that what God thinks of us is much different than the way we typically view ourselves or how the world views us.  We have to start seeing ourselves the way God sees us.  We have to be the people that the Bible tells us we are.  John 1:12-13 offers, "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³ children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God." 
The Bible tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  (Philippians 4:13) The Bible says that there is hope when it seems that all hope is lost.  (Romans 5:2) The Bible says that we have been forgiven, made clean, and justified by the blood of Jesus. (Romans 3:24)  The Bible says that God has a plan for us to prosper. (Jeremiah 29:11)  The Bible says that the Spirit of God is within us.  (1 Corinthians 3:16) The Bible says that the kingdom of God is here and in our midst. (Luke 17:21) 
When are we going to stop thinking about all of the negative things in our life and take on the mind of Christ?  When are we going to stop fearing our giants and start facing them?  1 Samuel 17:47 says that "the battle is the Lord's."  Today it is time to let him do the fighting for us. 

Commitment

In most civilizations, marriage is considered a sacred institution that involves the union of two parties, under God, who vow to commit themselves to one another for life.  Americans have become accustomed to ceremonies that involve the exchanging of rings, the recitation of vows, and a litany of other ceremonial offerings, such as the reading of scripture and the lighting of candles.  Invitees may also enjoy some of the great classical masterpieces, such as Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring and Canon in D.  The American church has done much to increase the grandeur of the wedding ceremony, as evident in the requisite planning and preparing for every minute detail, from the guest list to wedding cake and thank-you cards.

What is sorely missed throughout all of the hoopla is the genuine commitment of two people to become one in flesh—the sacred unification of two souls.  The American wedding has become much more about pomp and circumstance than it is about God.  We have failed to underscore the commitment and accountability that this decision necessitates, and therefore we discover our divorce rates at jaw-dropping frequency. 

It’s about time that we began to concentrate on the true value of marriage as a sacred institution.  It’s high time we put God first in our wedding ceremonies, making him the centerpiece of our marriages and lives together.  The wedding ceremony should be viewed as the beginning of two people’s lives together, walking hand in hand daily in the direction of Christ’s love.   Because we have failed to view marriage in this high of a regard, we often find ourselves to be lukewarm in our commitment to our spouses.  We lack passion and commitment and thus our lives together become a drudgery instead of a place of rest. 

This realization can be paralleled to our Christian walk, which begs the question, “Why do we continue to be lukewarm Christians?”  Why do we continually find ourselves slipping back into the same old routines that were characteristic of our former life before we came to know the truth of Christ?  It is because we do not love God to the extent that we are willing to submit to a level of commitment that equals that of marriage.  It is because we have not made a genuine vow to him.  We are not passionate enough about our faith to forsake all things for the sake of Christ, and so we continue to selfishly cling to the things that give us the greatest pleasure.  Letting go of our former selves is something that we simply do not wish to do, and we fail to give God 100%.  But God doesn’t want merely a percentage of our lives.  He wants all of us.